don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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