I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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