Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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