First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
