Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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