i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i believe in u and ur pee
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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