YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
