bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
