My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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