apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
