Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
