isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
