i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
