I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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