yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
