My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
