Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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