he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Someone signed my nipple.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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