Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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