Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
