Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
