i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
