Have you finally orgasmed yet?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
