so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
