Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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