was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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