I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
