dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
