Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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