It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
