dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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