I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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