Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
