that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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