3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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