You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
