Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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