there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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