I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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