I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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