Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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