garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
