Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
