Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
