Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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