you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
