Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
