Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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