Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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