we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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