Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
